It’s far too easy to forget our most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. After the craziness of the holiday season, it’s necessary to take a step back from making everyone around you happy and focus a little bit more on yourself. Whether you want to call it self-love, self-care or as I like to say – self-gifting – the fact is we all need to contemplate whether we are giving ourselves just as much as we give others, so what better time to do this than the start of a new year?

And no, I don’t mean self-gifting in the sense of reckless spending when you blow your savings, feel good today but worse tomorrow cause now you have to choose between eating and putting gas in your car for the next month. There are certainly times I will advocate for the treat-yo-self movement, but what I actually mean by self-gifting can be narrowed down to the Four Rs of the New Year: Relaxation, Reflection, Reassessment and Rejuvenation.

So put down the phone (unless that’s how you’re reading this, of course), turn up some music, pour a glass of wine and let’s get down to the business of you.

Relaxation
Congrats, you survived the holidays! Take a second to breathe a sigh of relief and pat yourself on the back because you made it through (somewhat) unscathed. Rest is probably at the top of your to-do list and I definitely don’t blame you. You deserve a break after making sure your halls were decked, gifts were bought/wrapped under the tree and Christmas dinner was perfectly prepared to put the entire family into a peaceful food coma. But more than that, what you need is the chance to actually sit back and relax. Like, really relax. I’m talking pampering, trashy television shows, a little (moderation is key) alcohol or anything that will help you to stop stressing for one precious moment before the walls of reality start to close in.

Reflection
Once you’ve had a chance to relax, you can start to reflect on the year gone by and the year ahead. Did you accomplish everything you wanted to? If yes, that’s amazing! If not, that’s amazing too! You know why? Cause personal growth doesn’t have a deadline. It’s an ongoing process that should never feel like work or a chore because investing in yourself is the greatest decision you can make. And anytime you have a chance to better yourself, you should also celebrate yourself because how great are you for realizing you could be even greater, and taking steps to get there. Your accomplishments are yours, and you should feel proud. Announce them to the world with an engraved necklace or bracelet that says just how awesome you are. Not only is engraved jewellery a way to remember, but also a cute way to keep yourself motivated.

Reassessment
You know the feeling of euphoria that comes with finding the perfect gift for someone in your life? When you’re so excited to see their reaction that it becomes all you can think about? Now, imagine making yourself feel that way every single day. Sounds pretty damn incredible, right? So my advice to you is at least once a month makes sure you surprise yourself with a well-deserved treat or token of appreciation just for being the awesome person that you are. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, send yourself a love letter or prepare a candlelight dinner for one. Love requires dedication so, this year, be more dedicated to loving yourself.

Rejuvenation
Whatever your mantra is this year, consider how to reinforce that statement in your daily life. One idea I absolutely love is embroidering your goals on a personal item like a pillow or throw. It’s a constant reminder that doubles as home décor, adding a touch of positivity to your routine and your personal space! I don’t know about you, but when I see an inspirational quote, I can’t help but feel ready to take on the world. So surround yourself with good vibes and life will naturally fall into place.

Self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. Likewise, self-gifting is more than buying yourself the occasional present. It takes time and consideration to train your brain into treating yourself with the same care you show others. So in 2019, make yourself your main priority. Do what makes you happy, whether it’s going on that spontaneous trip, buying the expensive bag or simply taking a day for yourself. And remember, always be kind, to others and yourself.